Yoga Sara Studio Picton Street Bristol
I felt low today…no motivation…tired…It didn’t help that my motivation script was referencing negativity from someone can ruin things…And guess what this is exactly what I have been going through…Time loss to my reactions…moody faces,.frustration and arguments.
Today I used my time…slept, meditation, breathwork and therapeutic Journaling…Sourcing all my gem’s, books, yoga, crystal therapy.
Reading, meditating, sleeping, thinking, reflecting.
I recognised seeking reflective supervision through the words of spiritual authors, therapies and Yoga is a boost and will serve me well.
The day ended, identifying I have patterns, deep rooted emotions, that create a comotion in my mind, body and soul.
Self therapy, reflective supervision…allowed me to treat myself well, mixing and blending a generous helping of Rose petals, rose geranium, hymalayan pink Salts, dead Sea Salts…
Creating a Moon Ritual….Bathing cleansing, rinsing the physical and psychological body and mind.
Awakening the Chakra’s, sparking then into balance and harmony…in order for me to reach my full potential, becoming creative finding my joy, releasing me from this mood…
This time last week, I was preparing to go camping alone, to a festival alone. I have been reflecting a lot about myself. Am I Happy? Am I Good?
To be honest my happiness, as morphed into a ‘Happi-Mess’. A Happy-Mess of worrying, not Happy, not good.
It didn’t take long, during reflection to see, my ‘Happi-Mess’…because the feeling, discomfort is actually stronger than the visualisation.
My ‘Happi-Mess’ moves in waves, sailing through ups and downs successfully finding the medium of yes you’ve guessed it, a ‘Happi-Mess’.
Happi-Mess, is a balance where everyone around me, is happy, healthy and whole in their comings and goings because they have my time, attention and will to do has they please to be consistently ‘Happy, and Good’. Whilst I remain in my Happi-Mess, grasping oh so sweet moments of being Happy and Good.
I have no one to look to, but myself, I can only make choices for myself so in a funny sort of….I want to break free, from this ‘Happi-Mess’, I began to look at what I did not like, what I was doing, my habits, patterns that had created my you guessed it my ‘Happi-Mess’.
Looking around me, there are no longer babies, young ones, family who need my time and support. They can manage, but make choices to hold my time and support.
So little by little, I have been making I am Happy, I Am Good choices.
Yes, Yes, Yes! Go, Go, Go! Choices. So here I am all booked up to go camping 🏕…at a Festival ☺, Vegan, Holistic Festival…Everything that makes me ‘Happy’, makes me ‘Good’. Releasing myself from my ‘Happi-Mess’, that is unfulfilled.
I explored delicious Vegan food, walked, slept under the stars adoring the Moon, in its crescent 🌙form.
I watched the Sun rise…
And watched the Sunset.
I danced until nearly midnight, invited my body to return to Yoga, find my ‘Yoke’ to be open, stretching with no clocks, no alarms.
Sat by a lake, stepped into the lake, wade in the water…sending my ‘Happi-Mess’ away, for me to become Happy and Good.
I chose to live in the moment, using balance…I felt I didn’t have to ‘Paddle Board’
And just like that…I made a single choice….I Am Happy, I Am Good, I Am Happy, I Am Good….
If you read ‘All About Me’ one of the things about my character is the organic rawness of my authenticity, experiences that makes me who I am, drives my enthusiasm to share my passion for self love, living an holistic lifestyle to enhance my well-being. I only teach, share what I am have experienced.
Subconsciously there has been a knock, a prod to write a blog, that is consistent, sharing thoughts experiences actions and reactions. Oh my dayz! When you don’t answer your knocks and prods you soon get catapulted into what you need to do…So here I am writing…your comments, likes shares will be most welcomed. My honesty, vulnerability is here on these pages, learning life’s lessons.
This is probably going to be one of my hardest, changing, metamorphosis, transformation journey, path…I don’t know where, what the end will be.
It’s happening now. I can share, show and tell when and now. Share & follow me on Instagram satyapremkaur
So here we go…I bloody hope this is short term. 🙏🏽
Situational depression is a short-term, stress-related type of depression. It can develop after you experience a traumatic event or series of events. Situational depression is a type of adjustment disorder. It can make it hard for you to adjust to your everyday life following a traumatic event. It’s also known as reactive depression.
Events that can cause situational depression include:
This 3rd lockdown, has thrown me into the target of experiencing first hand how your mental health can be challenged, torn and thrown into a minefield.
The majority of my working and personal life, I have been blessed to have support and guidance even through times that have been challenging, clarity has been given to see the light and reason through the tunnel, path of life.
This blogg is going to read as scrambled, because that’s how I feel where I am at.
How did I get here? I meditate, fast, practice yoga, take cold showers, inhale and exhale…watch and manage my energy and who comes into my auric space.
I have…I thought, felt I had leveled up! During this pandemic, was living my best life.
4 months into the start of this pandemic, I was given the opportunity to use all my skills, share the benefits of holistic health and well-being and help people and get paid. The work was intense, but so satisfying, encouraging help and support to families, children, vulnerable people struggling with the pandemic, struggling with life. However this was only a temporary position. During this time, I began to explore other opportunities, different areas of employment, will the same goals to help and support that would again be rewarding.
I was ready to leave my old position, stepping into a new role, new responsibilities, into the unknown with enthusiasm, creativity and empathy, with an edge of excitement.
As time moved on…the excitement and enthusiasm began to be replaced with doubt, uncertainty with an edge of….I am still trying to find the word…But the position department, role was just not sitting well within. I began to feel I was moving into an environment of disorder, frustration, anxiety. I am not really sure again if those are the words, I fitting to describe.
I wouldn’t say, everything is a blur, but its difficult to share, write my emotions, feelings the place where I am at now as everything is in the core of my being and I am not able to move through it so easy.
I really don’t believe the characters I have been around the past month are as a result of the pandemic, their characters were as such before, the pandemic has allowed for their deep rooted dark self to reign.
I have heard of the term ‘Gas lighting’ and to be on the receiving end is really like being on a merry go round, that you’d like to get off, but everyone on it is enjoying the ride.
I am ‘Drowning, not waving’ I am in ‘Situational Depression‘
Although we have been placed on the National Lock Down Naughty Step. It may force a feeling of frustrating and a force to get out, get on.
In areas of our lives, there is need to rest.
Put down our phones, step away from our computers, laptops and our television. Inhale and exhale relax unwind. Take advantage of this unique time. Find yourself,.without time, without haste.
Let the mind flow..into a space of peace, changing an habit of hectic times,.living in the past.
Change to a pattern of calm, staying present, living for only what is happening now.
My Sunday was truly a day spent counting my blessings. I was grateful for life, for loved ones and all things bright and beautiful around me.
I began to surrender on a journey to let go of what I can’t control. I can’t control ‘Feeling physically tired’…I went back to sleep, because my mind, body and soul needed rest, needed sleep.
I practiced kindness…watered the plants, the herbs in my home, without haste. I talked to them, spent time running the water to reach a temperature not to startle, the roots. I was kind to myself, when I felt myself drifting in and out of sleep…I didn’t fight it. Instead I gathered my pillows cushions and duvet and immersed myself in a sound Bath of gongs, mantra and affirmations of love, light, healing, for love, health, protection and projection.
I listened to my heart…because it is always right.
Finally, the most blissful act of all is…To ‘Breathe’ just to ‘Breathe‘. I inhaled, slowly, deeply. Exhaled, slowly, deeply. Recognising each deep inhalation…was an emotional fight to make haste to exhale out, make haste to move on with life, with time. I gave myself permission, an invitation to… Slow my breath… releasing guilt for taking the time to just ‘Breathe’…Releasing the tension in the body, roaming thoughts of the mind. The thoughts that stop, rest, sleep, that create a tired mind, body and soul.
My Sunday “to do” List
Count My Blessings, Let go of what I can’t control, Practice Kindness, Listen to my Heart, Just Breathe.